When I Quit following the Stock Market

When I Quit following the Stock Market

fiction
edward w pritchard

I always checked the stock and bond quotes and prices throughout the day and had been doing so since college. Although I didn't have much money invested I read numerous books and devoured financial periodicals and newspapers. Of course like most people I didn't make money net/net but the changes in prices provided an excitement that was missing in my life because of my psychological makeup. Especially exciting to me were the periodic conflagrations that occurred to the downside with the thrill of huge losses for everyone and the destruction of the way of life of all capitalist countries. Obviously the end of capitalism never actually occurred, at least not yet, but it was fun to imagine we wouldn't have to pay our credit card bills or our mortgages next month.

I quit following the market when a derivative product was developed to accommodate trading on the future potential of individual teenagers. Prices of an ETF[ exchange traded fund] moved up or down based on a computer simulation model of an individuals perceived future economic value and contribution to society. Sometimes several members of one family, neighborhood or other affinity groups would be grouped together into an ETV to increase trading volume. Many new analyst jobs were created on Wall street to predict and analyze the numbers and ratios relating to the new ETF products. Potential analysts often were chosen not just because of their math background but because they were studied in Darwinian evolution or later Spenserian evolution. Interestingly the product was popular with educators, because teachers and administrators benefited by supplying standardized test results and individual teacher evaluations were an important soft statistic in evaluating individual teenagers. For their input and feedback school systems and teachers unions were compensated with a small percentage on each trade.

The concept of trading on the future economic value of children sickened me and as a defiance I refused to have anything to do thereafter with Wall Street or stocks or bonds. Of course my absence wasn't missed. Also I will add, the product created huge public interest and commissions, and a small percent of teenagers benefited spectacularly from the attention and publicity they gained from being identified as " winners" by the program. Thus a successful feedback loop was created of the type that is highly prized by businessmen and the program continues to this day. Now Wall Street is looking for related applications for the ETF product. Promising potentialities include ancestor worship and virtual trading based on the delusions of musicians, writers and poets.