My last rites
fiction
edward w pritchard
I made a deal with the local mini casino to have my funeral in their parlor where the slot machines are. To acquire new customers the town's finest casino agreed to provide my friends and relatives free slot machine credits to play off on their slot machines. In lieu of a traditional funeral my last rites will be held at the casino. Everyone gets one hundred dollars worth of gaming credits, good food is provided, coke and Pepsi are comp and two free alcoholic drinks are available by swiping a special card with my name and picture in the casino lobby. No more than two drinks please, mustn't be tacky.
Of course I am cremated first off site. I have an articulate friend say a few words. Only a few words are necessary to insure my good memory will be sent into the future well remembered because of the free gambling. The food is good, the drinks are free and some of the boys win a few bucks. As a special surprise I have blues music played on the piano after my eulogy as my friends play the slots in lieu of my last rites. Of course it is sad for a moment for my close family and then I am gone and it's someone else's turn to ride life's merry go round. If I can swing it before I be elsewhere I will roll up and stop a red seven on the slot reel for you before I traverse to the other side.
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