living in the past

living in the past

fiction
edward w pritchard

When the grind of life gets me down from being alone and having no purpose to pursue, me I return in my mind to my past in Mayberry, North Carolina a place and time where I spent the best years of my life.

Happy times yes, but hard times for me because I always was a step out of sync and I never understood the characters around me and closest to me. Good food, a comfortable home and a little money in the local bank could not alleviate the feeling I had that things were not quite real.

It all seemed scripted, each day had dilemmas and little complications that all seemed to work out by the end of each episode but upon reflection I never understood the motivations of my part. It pains me to think of how much I left on the table and of all the shortcomings I left out of the performance of my humble role in things.

The past is stuck in my throat and Bee, Floyd, and especially Helen refuse to melt away; yet now it all seems merely a dream. As if too much such happiness was not meant for the likes of myself although happy I was despite my shortcomings in diligently performing my part.

There are no small parts only little actors so you will find no Oscars or trophies on my shelf, only a fading memory of what might have been,

Oh that if only blind and indifferent fate had chosen to script a different ending to it all.