cuz's house at Christmas
fiction
edward w pritchard
Timing is everything but going to the wrong place is always untimely. Don't spend the Holidays with your wife's cousin. It doesn't matter if they live in the South there will be no southern hospitality or gentility at your wife's Cuz's place and your children will have the worse vacation experience ever in addition to learning a dozen new bad habits and swear words from your wife's side of the Family.
At five AM your wife will wake you up desperate to send you to the only open convenience store to buy two cartons of cigarettes and Thunderbird wine for her cousin's husband Merl. When you return with the booty Merl will have your son back at the creek shooting Carp with a sawed off shotgun for Christmas dinner.
When your daughter shows you her cereal at Christmas breakfast there will be some sort of flotsam a top the milk. Pressed you will identify either cigarette ashes or expired milk since Thanksgiving.
Later about 8am the Minister will stop by the house collecting money for charity inviting you, the visitors from the North to "preachin".
Cuz's house at Christmas, hopefully the pictures got tossed out with the first wife's memorabilia.
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