feng shui and church buildings

feng shu and church buildings

fiction
edward w pritchard

Once a building is used for one sort of purpose, it is always thereafter influenced by that original use.

Down toward Canton, Ohio a growing congregation of Baptists decided that because of the recession and all the vacant buildings everywhere to not build the new building they had been saving for for a dozen years. Instead they bought an old grocery store long since vacant. The feng shui of the grocery store began to immediately show itself in the services at the church.

The minister would be in the middle of a long long sermon and everybody would suddenly smell ham.

If the choir was singing and someone hit a bad note everyone in the congregation would want rolaids or tums.

In an effort to incorporate the building's feng shui into the church the minister's wife suggested that the church build on the grocery store motif.

Several changes were made to the normal church service to blend a church and a grocery store together. Most important was that real grocery carts were used to haul sinners to the alter for confession. Nobody likes to walk down to the front of the church and be stared at while they go to confess their sins; so many people never take that first step. However, a careening shopping cart ride down the aisles is another matter. Nearly two hundred people on a normal night would line up to confess and get the ride down the sloping aisles to the alter. After a heart felt confession they would then be pushed back to their seats.

The collection plate was eliminated. Instead a check out counter and cash register was put in and before anyone could leave they had to get a bill and pay their balance due. If anyone forgot their bible they would be sold one and would have to pay retail for the new one each week until they remembered their own bible. The church is the only place where a used book, a bible, is worth more than a new unused one.

Despite the changes membership is growing and growing at the new Baptist Church, and it is one of the strongest in the Baptist dioceses. With so many vacant buildings in our area and so much discouragement from the bad economy and vacant buildings, developing more churches and filling them new members might be one way to improve morale locally.

Most people go to the grocery store a lot more often than attend services at their church. Any changes to the church service that would increase attendance might be a good idea.