Ruddmann on the case

Ruddmann on the case

fiction
edward w Pritchard

Life isn't what it used to be. I hate it when a woman drives a police car.

She isn't my partner these days, she's my supervisor. Senior Detective Odilia Ruddmann heiress. In protest I stared at her legs when we drove North hill beat. She got the Mayor, also a woman, to formally reprimand me for sexism. I have to sit in the back seat for thirty days and Odilia gets to drive. These punks in the project they notice such things; they left an aluminum fold up walker, the kind old people use to move about in a nursing home, leaning against the passenger door of our police car while we were inside 207B Treetop manner busting Tommy King.

Odelia uses Google maps to find her way around the city and she texts the other officers for advice when we are chasing a suspect. Odilia eats spinach salad for lunch and we wait in line at Starbucks for frappuccino every morning. When we are on stakeout she won't talk, she reads Anne Rynd " Fountainhead". When she arrested Billy Timens Odelia and Billy talked about objectivism in the hall of the courthouse while we waited for the jury to convict him of theft and breaking and entering. She won't just sit in the cruiser either. Every thirty minutes Odelia takes five minutes to stretch and meditate. Sometimes I think she doesn't eat at all, salads excluded; Officer Ruddmann likes to have lunch at 3PM or later and if we have late stakeout I have to pick her up at the fitness center.

When we do finally go to lunch or dinner, after Odelia has quietly told me I shouldn't eat so much red meat and salt she always offers to pay. Once I made the mistake of telling her what it's like to pay alimony to two ex wives. Her family is very rich. She doesn't need to work. What does she know about life; she has a BA in criminal justice, an MA in psychology and is working on a PHD in quantitative finance.

Two Thursday's ago I drove all shift. Odelia's boyfriend was caught with some bimbo school teacher. Odelia sat in the passenger seat and sniffled a lot.

Sometimes when she does want to talk when we drive around Odelia and I will argue about gun control, decriminalizing drug use, or if America is a welfare states which causes the excessive amount of government deficit. We can never agree on anything. She thinks Americans are too materialistic. What does she know. Poor little rich heiress.

Speaking of guns, I have taken to carrying a shotgun on patrol. I have to look out now for my new boss Odelia Ruddmann when she is on the case. I make sure she wears her vest during drug arrests and I try to keep ahead of her when we bust down a door or race up three flights of stairs.