last man standing; preview of coming stories

last man standing; preview of coming stories

fiction
edward w pritchard


Devil- Hello Ed

author- you called me by my first name. What may I call you?

Devil- I am pleased with the story you plan to write about myself, you may call me Lucifer

author - that's a cool name, what does it mean

Devil- look it up, we haven't much time and I wanted to check to see if you are ok

author- i am fine, the whole time I was a substitute teacher and taught school I never saw a Mother call her kid Lucifer, although I saw a lot of hypen-nated odd names, Le bron, Le martinique

Devil- Don't talk about Le Bron, write about me,
 Now you went to Wal mart , you bought shoe laces, well tomorrow the "Wall Street Journal" on page one in  a blurb should note that consumer spending is stabilizing

author I got medicine too

Lucifer- I am proud of you, I am glad to see you are trying to take care of yourself,

author- why are you concerned about me?

Lucifer- I want you to get the story about me done, I like your idea; also I always get nervous when you write about getting your hand nailed to a cross, about Catholic saints and about him, -him, -Jesus

author- my hand was nailed to a car door not a cross in the story about Anne Rice

Lucifer- tell me about the story you are working on about me

author- it's about a group of farmers and people from way out in the Country who dress in black and have a service to the Devil while standing before an upside down cross in a corn field or maybe a pumpkin field and then after services go do a lot of Bourgeois stuff like go to soccer, or the mall or a Mexican restaurant on Sunday afternoon

Lucifer, no no not that one, I have read enough of your stories with diminutive Amish women with their breasts showing, I mean the Shackleton story.

author- that's "Last man standing" about the Devil, Lucifer is with the crew of Shackleton in Antarctica that freezes to death and the Devil is the last man standing. The crew sleep under two row boats while they freeze to death and starve waiting for rescue. They eat the horses and then eat the dogs and only the last few men realize the the crewman who never gets cold, never gets hungry, never gets discouraged, is the Devil.

Devil- I love it, take your time, research properly, I can't wait to read it.

author - why don't you like Jesus?

Lucifer - never mind let's talk about you. It was ok at Wal Mart when that girl with the fluffy thick brown hair lifted up her shirt to show you her waist line, why did it make you nervous

ed- I thought she was barely 18

Lucifer she was 22, don't worry so much, the other girl, the one who sold you the prescription was quite attractive

ed- yes she was

Lucifer- it's ok to ....

Lucifer -continuing- now one unpleasant subject- about the story about St Therese

ed- I plan on comparing St Therese, the Nun and saint to my sister who died at birth, I think I will have my dead sister talk to me like you are doing here

Lucifer- go on

ed- it's going to be about philosophy

Lucifer- losing interest, well I must be going, take care of yourself ed, just whistle when the story about me and Shackleton is finished, I look forward to reading it.
end