Where will my Shrink convene group session today?/ part 1

Where will my Shrink convene group session today

fiction
edward w Pritchard

Why does Mrs. Bertran have to park her station wagon so close to the ladder leading up into the tree house where our group session meets often on Thursdays. More than anything I hate to walk into group counseling late; everyone seems to be always talking about me.

I liked it better when we met on the road in Professor Fortner's white stretch van. We would all cram into the van and Dr. Fortner would drive and we would hold our group counseling session on the roads up and down Country lanes. The Professor, only I call him that,  always would buy us lunch at Wendy's or Arby's; he can afford to at the prices we pay for therapy and multiply that times five or six batty patients, myself included and you see why he is OK to pay for us, still it's a nice gesture, you see why he is able to have so many patients.

It's a little stuffy meeting in the tree house. I think the professors son smokes up here. The kid is about fourteen and he's a real work; why do Professionals have weird children? Rest assured that the Professor would be surprised if he thought his Kid was smoking, cigarettes or Pot with his buddies. Maybe he could counsel the Kid on cessation techniques. Ha, ha, well I say let the kid be normal for a while before you have to label him as "needs improvement".  I like to sit with my back to the East wall of the tree house so I can stare out the window or at Laurie Woods, she has a magnificent body but she is so screwed up.

Miss Lowes, Fortner's secretary can't climb the steps to the tree house, too fat,  so  we have to fill out our own assessment inventory today and bill ourselves for the session; I am not going to pay in cash, I have been burned before by too many other Doctors.

Mrs. Donaldson is telling about all the men that want her desperately now that she's Divorced. Laurie smiles secretly at me. She hates Mrs. Donaldson, possibly she has been with her husband, he is on the City Counsel and thinks he is a big deal. I have heard him come into a sports bar and orate like Mark Anthony. What an asshole. I feel real sad about Mrs. Donaldson and people like her, who have lost something, maybe she never had it in the first place but it was better when she didn't know. Now she comes in here every week and pours out her soul and pays for the privilege.

I decide to talk about the time I hit my boss at the cable company with a coffee pot. It was empty and not hot. I hate that guys voice and I hated his attitude about life. That got me fired and is one reason why the only jobs I can get are sales jobs. Professor wants me to talk about Corrine but I won't go there. Too personal. I see Mrs. Donaldson is leaning forward, wanting to hear some more about me and Corrine, she loves that kind of jazz.

The professor wants us to vote on where we will meet next week. He even has papers and half sized pencils for us to use in the balloting. You have got to be kidding me.
end part 1