baseball pine tar, spitballs and humidors? 2014 baseball season

baseball pine tar, spitballs and humidors? 2014 baseball season

fiction
edward w pritchard

Epic issues shake the world when a new major league baseball season begins each Spring. Each year the epic metaphorical confrontation of pitching versus hitting results in new technology and uses of old tricks to give either pitchers or hitters the edge in baseball and in life.

Is all fair in baseball?

Yesterday a pitcher gets thrown out for having illegal pine tar on his neck. He didn't even look sorry as he left the field. It must be hard to be contrite when you make that kind of money for throwing a ball around.

Here's what I wrote before:

for Aunt Kelly and Uncle Bob, relatives we miss

Soup and baseball go together

fiction
edward w pritchard

No one was sadder to see Uncle Bob transfer from executive Vice President for a Southern major league baseball team to a team in the west than me. Uncle Bob used to send us baseball tickets for the All Star Game or playoffs and they were the best seats and it was just great.

Uncle Bob is working now for the Colorado Rockies and when he first hit town out in Denver he came up with a brilliant idea but it nearly wrecked his career when the fans began to steal the baseballs and make soup out of them.

It was Uncle Bob's idea to keep the baseballs in a humidor; which because of the high altitude in Denver weren't traveling well causing a dearth of home runs and leading to fan indifference. Keeping the baseballs in a humidor was a great idea and attendance climbed, so did baseballs, resulting in more home runs and everyone was happy but the pitchers. Every week local television or a national magazine would run another story on the novelty of keeping the baseballs in a humidor.

From the success and publicity about the humidor stored baseballs, people began to steal the baseballs for they were rumored to increase virility and since they were too hard to eat raw fans took to cooking them in a salty soup. I understand the broth was very tasty.

Eventually Uncle Bob was in trouble with management and to get out of "hot water" through his contacts in the National baseball media Uncle Bob began to spread the rumor that the soup made from baseballs was fattening and the situation went away.

end