fiction
edward w pritchard
repost with edits
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
goldstake cherries
Goldstake Cherries
fiction
edward w Pritchard
Goldstake Cherries was a gigantic man. 11feet 9 inches, tall, 748 pounds in his stockings and boots and he usually wore two pair of socks.
Still Goldstake was a little nervous as two full grown grizzly bears stood across from him staring him down.
His old Ma-wrn {ma] had told him, and it said in the good book, don't fight with two grizzlies at once if you can charm um [ them].
So Goldstake quickly grabbed up a skillet and whipped up some of his grand-dad's secret pancakes, fried up about 108 of um and him and them thar bears came to an understandin over an umpromtu breakfast of pan cakes an rye whiskey.
Hours later Goldstake Cherries rode the paint colored, rainbow striped, half badger/half horse thru the expanse of rock less desert, in a windstorm looking for Bartholomule the gent who had pawed his girl Iris, no one slapped his girl on the behind and lived. So Goldstake drove over the badlands for 74 days, up and down the foothills, with only morning mountain dew for water, until on the 74th day, despite being in a hot waterless desert, it began to snow, and there ahead was Bart, the Armadillo he rode was plum tucker out, and Bart was walking along, and in doing so he had his back to Goldstake. Goldstake approached from the North, so the rays of the sun, that golden orb, would be in Bart's eyes when he struck, because in this dessert the Sun rose and set North to south.
Packing a snowball from the desert floor, Goldstake wound up and hit Bart on the left outside of his left thigh with the missile. The crack of the impact was heard fifteen miles away in an Indian village, so that tribe wasn't surprised to see a gigantic white man walk into camp carrying a badger, a tuckered out armadillo, an injured man, and two large 100 pound sacks of flour, and a side of beef. Goldstake left the Indians the flour and beef to get through the snow storm in the heat of the waterless desert, and incidentally harvested a heap of good will for the future from those Injins, and then headed South for the nearest town to drop Bart off to stand trial for sexual harassment, because Goldstakes out of mercy had decided not to kill the injured man.
Later, Goldstake spent a spell reading the good book, thanking the lord that all had worked as planned and then returned to his 975,000 acres farm to get in the jelly bean crop before winter struck in earnest down here in the desert badlands.
fiction
edward w Pritchard
Goldstake Cherries was a gigantic man. 11feet 9 inches, tall, 748 pounds in his stockings and boots and he usually wore two pair of socks.
Still Goldstake was a little nervous as two full grown grizzly bears stood across from him staring him down.
His old Ma-wrn {ma] had told him, and it said in the good book, don't fight with two grizzlies at once if you can charm um [ them].
So Goldstake quickly grabbed up a skillet and whipped up some of his grand-dad's secret pancakes, fried up about 108 of um and him and them thar bears came to an understandin over an umpromtu breakfast of pan cakes an rye whiskey.
Hours later Goldstake Cherries rode the paint colored, rainbow striped, half badger/half horse thru the expanse of rock less desert, in a windstorm looking for Bartholomule the gent who had pawed his girl Iris, no one slapped his girl on the behind and lived. So Goldstake drove over the badlands for 74 days, up and down the foothills, with only morning mountain dew for water, until on the 74th day, despite being in a hot waterless desert, it began to snow, and there ahead was Bart, the Armadillo he rode was plum tucker out, and Bart was walking along, and in doing so he had his back to Goldstake. Goldstake approached from the North, so the rays of the sun, that golden orb, would be in Bart's eyes when he struck, because in this dessert the Sun rose and set North to south.
Packing a snowball from the desert floor, Goldstake wound up and hit Bart on the left outside of his left thigh with the missile. The crack of the impact was heard fifteen miles away in an Indian village, so that tribe wasn't surprised to see a gigantic white man walk into camp carrying a badger, a tuckered out armadillo, an injured man, and two large 100 pound sacks of flour, and a side of beef. Goldstake left the Indians the flour and beef to get through the snow storm in the heat of the waterless desert, and incidentally harvested a heap of good will for the future from those Injins, and then headed South for the nearest town to drop Bart off to stand trial for sexual harassment, because Goldstakes out of mercy had decided not to kill the injured man.
Later, Goldstake spent a spell reading the good book, thanking the lord that all had worked as planned and then returned to his 975,000 acres farm to get in the jelly bean crop before winter struck in earnest down here in the desert badlands.
I am the runt of the Packett Clan. We are pioneer stock and I am Goldstake, oldest of the four brothers and one wee little sister.
My youngest brother Toll is three maybe four inches taller than me and the other two sons of Ma and Pa Packett, Ornrey and Tie die are just a might shorter than my youngest brother but a shad taller than myanrn. [ me]. It gave me an inferiority contest [sic] there at home.
We are Welsh stock. We sing and we pray when we are scared, which is never, unless one of the children is sick or the dog is missing.
My main fault, I can't keep money and can't forget women especially one's who are dead and one's who wants to be permanently rid of me. Despite that I am a good man to have about in a quarrel and quarrels are always just at the end of my hips and thighs.
Strong men and women are needed to carve out a foothold in this hostile Country. We Packett's built a ranch by the sweat of our hands and then we studied Blackstone's Law commentary [ see the Sackett's, sub title -Sackett page 30], and then we found gold. Course gold will ruin a man, especially if he has all he needs.
The future? It's not for me but the bright eyed children, part Indian part Welsh. The past? I am the past; America's beginnings.
Now, Why now, I work hard every day of my life, just staying alive. [ Louis L' Amour- Sam Elliot in the Quick and the Dead]. side note - that Kate Capshaw ain't half bad.
Speaking of noticing women, ladies all us men are just a wolf pack, course we run alone; some of us will a smile at you and some will just give you that look, my Pa gave that look to my Ma and that's where I and me brothers and sister came from. Anyway you women should watch what you wear and how you look back, we notice that, like I noticed that Kate Chapshaw standing under that waterfall in the freezing cold water. Me on my horse and her with those blues eyes crying in the rain of that water fall.
end part 2
No comments:
Post a Comment